Power of ten morgan freeman12/21/2023 ![]() Yet again, if Freeman ever does take us up on our suggestion, he’d probably take away the jobs of hundreds, if not thousands, of audio book narrators. Morgan can read to us an entire SAT prep guide, or the results of a blood test, and all we would say in response is “encore.” We’re surprised Morgan Freeman doesn’t get hired more to narrate auto books, because then we may end up subscribing for Audible. He could read the worst thing ever written, and it would sound like an angelic song. Morgan Freeman’s voice is his greatest asset. ![]() 1 And now, here’s a live reading of the LSAT When the world ends and society devolves into warring tribes, you better wish Morgan Freeman is on your side. If he stared in The Untouchables, he’d end up playing every role, because that’s how freeman rolls. Freeman’s killer roster of characters is the dictionary definition of ‘untouchable.’ Al Capone ain’t got nothing on him. God and Mandela should be enough to best any opponent, but Beech from Oblivion? And his disembodied voice? Just hand him the trophy already. Give him a role, and he’ll make it rain Oscar statues.Ģ Just give up, you know who’s going to win He was born to play any role, and that’s not hyperbole ether. Godzilla? Pffft, he was born for that role. A killer in a slasher movie? Consider it done. He’s played two presidents, a Middle-Eastern warrior, a detective and, of course, God Himself. Morgan Freeman has played every role imaginable. Though we can already tell that you’re definitely a Bintji. In fact, now that you’ve locked eyes with the image of the Free Man above, he’s already calculating your results, and you’ll have your answer soon. He already knows what you are, just by looking in your eyes. Why waste your time looking up dumb crap when Morgan Freeman can tell your potato type? Leave Google for important things, like how to change a lightbulb, and let Freeman be your starchy sorting hat. Okay, we’d admit that this meme is a bit condescending, but it still has a point. In other words, always trust someone with sound intuitions. No one should ever stand in the way of someone who feels like Freddie Kruger is ripping their organs to shreds. If he tells you to not cross the street, don’t do it, because there’s probably an out-of-control truck about to turn the corner and plow through the crosswalk. Freeman’s handle on common sense is unparalleled. 5 Hell hath no mercy like, well, you know That alone would be enough to justify deviations from the source material. So what if he’s a different race than He-Man? You still have one of the greatest actors of all-time playing freaking He Man for crying out loud. If anything, it’ll give the people who normally object to colorblind casting a run for their money. Would there have been as many tearful reaction clips on YouTube had that been in there? We don’t think so.Īfter playing God and Nelson Mandela, what’s the point of playing He-Man? Yet again, how cool would it be if Freeman decided to dawn the iconic garb of one of the most iconic ‘80s cartoon characters? We can already see the potential memes that’ll spring fourth from the internet like a busted pipe. How better would the Red Wedding be if Morgan Freeman delivered a speech over the ending credits, assuring viewers that it is, after all, just a TV show, and the actors haven’t actually been butchered like cattle. Every movie should end with Morgan Freeman delivering his final thoughts, if only to allow viewers to attain a sense of mindful perspective. Or maybe it’s just to allow Morgan Freeman time to comfort viewers in their time of stress/grief/range. Perhaps it’s to allow viewers to let the gravity of what they’ve just seen dawn on them, or it’s because no one can hear the music over the sound of uncontrollable sobbing. Who knows why movies and TV episodes with dark twists end in complete silence. Because Morgan Freeman always lands on his feet, like a cat with the world’s smoothest meow. No green screens, no soundstages, and no inflatable matts to catch him when he leaps. Freeman would still do his own stunts even if that windowsill was two stories up, above 5th Avenue in New York City, at the height of evening rush hour, during a thunderstorm. That’s because there’s not a single human alive that can match his level of perfection. No one can ever be Morgan Freeman’s stunt double.
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